So, after a long time, I
have no idea how much long time (in terms of months or years or so…) but it
seems to me that I am writing about myself after a decade.
However, if you have got
a question to me like- “what has made you, to write about yourself now?!...”
Well… it is really a big
question… any answer of this question in the first place is- “I just want to scream
out loud, but I cannot at all.” Perhaps someone has stuffed a cloth in my mouth
and my voice has blocked somewhere inside my throat.
However, there is a
cliché in the life of any random person that they must find a reason to
console themselves, to hide their mistake (s)… and certainly, they will do this
with full confidence. It is awful, but somewhat required… you must be wondering
that I ‘m going to support a wrong cause. But a big but…! It doesn’t
hurt anyone unless you do it in public and also if you take it positively.
Anyways, recently I have finished reading a book- this book is about an author who is roaming around
different countries and she is trying to forget her terrible divorce cum relationships, to learn a
language that she loves more than her mother tongue, the existence of supreme God
etc.
I think the name of the
book is not required to mention here as I am not supposed to write a review for
this book. I think you will
not mind this.
However, it still
doesn’t make any sense to anyone to sit down to review their past and all..?!?!
Yes..! Absolutely! You
know the way she has written in her book better say how she has expressed herself
is what I have done the same already; many years back during my teen age when most
of kids cum soon to become as grown adult(s) were preparing for their
future; either they were preparing for competitive exam or struggling to get a good college
or institute; I had been lost in my secret diary aka personal diary- I was
writing endlessly… better say I was screaming /bleeding in my untold painful
emotions every night/day silently in my loving diary. It was my
melancholy and I was not doing what I was expected to behave; well it has
enough. I can’t let myself to visit those daunting days again.
Even I have dumped that loving
diary somewhere I don’t know myself. This diary is one my dearest part of
my life. After all, It carried the burden of my melancholy ever very faithfully.
Still past is running
with us every second; each passing second is converting into the past.
And in the present, I am
again making mistakes and creating a new past. But somehow, I don’t feel obliged
to keep this beast in the cage of my small heart. I have learnt to make these
agonies free from myself, better say I have become the master in this awful art.
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