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It is really not easy to explain yourself each time... but if you'r explaining yourself again and again... in front of those whom you consider your well-wisher/love one's then it is really not good and very much painful for anyone... who is been suffering such situation.

One solution is that you can keep silence & do your work but how long it is quite possible...

Anyway what else could be done when you'r bounded by these things... should cry or yell... or yell out loud.

I have completely lost my temperament and feeling like mentally disorder person...  I have became sick and continuously thinking random things either which are relevant or irrelevant to me... 

I have been involving in the things which I should not supposed to do... in the viewpoint of these polite society... i want to say rubbish words but after all i m not like all these... i also can understand and this is why I am here... suffering you silently abruptly..

I think again and again the same thing that if I had provided that surrounding or what i wanted seven months ago I was not suffering such situations today... but it doesn't meant that i still continuously ponder on those passed things but I want to resolve them completely... i can motivate myself... i can push myself on my own for what ever i want to do in my life... people whom i care a lot why don't understand me... why they blame me as selfish... really in this situation if i would get anything.. even a little bit in course of my target/goal/livelihood I will definitely behave as a selfish one, i wouldn't care what they will say about me or anything..

why they cannot understand me... my feelings or emotions.. more important my goals... and why they can not come out of their comfort.. and let me face the challenges of this cruel society... why they can't understand i could defy them at my best...

why...!?!?!? do you have any answer....!!
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